Hello, My Spikey Friends
by DragonyPhoenix
Summary: Spike has a cunning plan to anchor Angel's soul permanently


Notes:

Hello Spikey appears courtesy of a href =".com/"hello_spikey/a. Thank you so much!

I don't own Sesame Street or any of it's songs although the Sunny Day song really does rock.

Hello Kitty is owned by Sanrio. I have no claims to her.

I don't know who owns the movie, ILet the Right One In/I, but it's certainly not me. Interesting take on vampires but I'm not sure how easy it is to follow if you haven't read the book.

Yeah, I know Johnny Cash didn't write that song but he sings a kick-ass version and Xander's into country music.

"Now," Willow shouted before racing after Spike into Angel's bedroom. "Black silk sheets?" she asked, stopping in shock. "You sure he wasn't evil already?"

Spike, leaping onto the bed and rolling Xander off the far end, called back, "Nah, not evil. Just gay."

"Spike? I can't believe you said that. No wait, yes I can."

Spike shrugged. "I'm evil. Nobody but you expects me to be sensitive, pet."

As Xander started singing of old songs from Sesame Street, sunny day, everything's A-OK, Willow covered her eyes. "Naked? You didn't say they'd be naked!"

"How else did you expect to get rid of the soul?"

Hearing a scream, Willow let her hands drop to see Angel, well more likely Angelus so that part seemed to have gone right, crouched down on the floor, screaming. Surrounding him in fighting stances were about two dozen...

"Hello Kitty? That's your plan? Oh, I am the stupidest person in the world for ever listening to you. Well, after you of course," she babbled until Angelus leaped up with a growl.

"Hello Spikey," Spike replied with a smirk.

Angelus stopped in mid-growl. "You're pulling my leg, right?"

"Hello Spikey?" Willow added.

"Hello, Spikey," Xander said, grabbing Spike into a hug. "You're my spikey, Spikey friend."

"Hey! Let go," Spike shouted in alarm as Angelus started growling again.

"Best be letting go of my boy," Angelus said, taking a menacing step towards Spike.

"I'm trying," Spike shouted in alarm, pushing Xander off. Xander just grabbed on and hugged him tighter, babbling all the while about Spikey friends and wasn't it great that everybody was getting along. Looking around in a panic Spike shouted, "A little help here!"

As Angelus closed in on Spike and Xander, one of the Hello Spikeys stepped forward. She wore the most adorable black velvet vest, laced up the back in a red criss-cross pattern, over a white silk blouse and had the cutest black and white striped pants. The bow next to her ear was black with dark maroon trim. "Dark Angel squad, attack," she barked out.

Xander looked confused for a moment and then tried to stand at attention and salute, calling out, "General, sir," while still holding onto Spike.

A half-dozen Hello Spikeys, each wearing a black jumper with red buttons down the front and styling red shoes, jumped onto Angelus. As one of them, who'd landed on his leg, bit down, Angelus screamed. Two Hello Spikeys were hanging onto his left arm for dear life as he whipped it up into the air, trying to dislodge them. A fourth landed on his shoulders and batted at his face so he couldn't see as he stumbled about the room.

"Hey," Xander piped up. "I recognize this scene from _Let The Right One In_."

"Now this is more like it," Spike said, puffing his chest out proudly while Xander looked between the Hello Spikeys and Angelus with a confused expression.

"Hey, that's my boyfriend you're hurting," he said, wandering towards Angelus.

"Oh no you don't." Spike grabbed him and dragged him back to the other side of the bed.

"Spike," Willow asked, keeping a wary eye on Angelus who, by that point, was covered in seven Hello Spikeys. "What's wrong with Xander and believe me when I tell you I'd better like your answer."

"Had to get them in the right mood to get rid of Angel's soul, now didn't I?" Willow stood there, tapping her foot. "Might have slipped them a bit of something but they wouldn't have shagged otherwise. Ever. You know you want Xander to be happy."

Angelus' lashings threw off one of his attackers. "Meoooow," a Hello Spikey cried out as she flew into the wall.

Xander, dropped down, escaping Spike's grasp, and picked her up. "Oh, you poor thing. Did you get a boo boo?" he asked as he started petting her. She batted her eyes at him and started purring.

"You drugged my best friend?" Willow shouted.

With a cry of pure distress, one of the Hello Spikeys leaped from Angelus' arm onto the bed. As she continued to cry mournfully, the rest of them stopped attacking Angelus and started frisking around the room.

"Uh, Red? Got bigger problems now."

Angelus, his naked body bleeding from assorted scratches, launched himself at Spike and started slamming him into the wall. "And this is why I'll always be the better man, Spikey me lad. You can't plan for crap and as for your allies..." He finished with a derisive laugh.

"Now would, ow, be a good time for that, ow, soul restoring spell," Spike shouted.

Willow's eyes bugged out. "You said you had it covered even though I can't even begin to imagine how you were planning to..."

"Willow," Spike cried out.

"I don't have the ingredients here," she shouted back.

"Well, bloody hell. Do something."

"I'll bloody hell you," she muttered. "Hey," she shouted as a Hello Spikey, wearing a long black dress which ended in strips of cloth that trailed off like snakes, climbed up onto her. "What are you doing? Get off of me."

"They're looking for the hair ribbon," Xander told her, looking up from the purring Hello Spikey curled up in his lap.

"What hair ribbon?" she asked as, slam, Spike was slammed, once again, into the wall.

"That Hello Spikey over there lost her hair ribbon," Xander replied as if it were perfectly obvious.

Angelus threw Spike across the room, where he landed with a loud thump. "They stopped attacking Angelus for that?" Spike wheezed, spitting blood. Trying to raise himself off the floor, Spike missed and fell back down with a clatter of limbs. Angelus, having gotten rid of what he saw as the only threat in the room, turned his attention back to his boyfriend, who was rocking back and forth, singing, "Rock a bye Hello Spikey, in the tree top..."

Willow, chanting in Latin, threw her arm forward until it was stretched out straight. White lights shot out from her fingertips, fluttering about the room: into drawers; under the covers; under the bed. As one dashed out from underneath the bed, it danced around for a moment and then flew back under. A dozen lights followed it. A moment later, a hair ribbon, carried by the lights, flew out from underneath the bed. One of the Hello Spikeys almost lost her shawl, black with a silver spiderweb design, grabbing the ribbon. As she jumped onto the bed and restored the bow to its rightful owner, little mews of relief exploded from around the room. Three of the Hello Spikeys started licking the one whose bow had been missing.

"Help now?" Willow asked as Angelus loomed over Xander. Seeing that the Hello Spikeys were still distracted, she started chanting again but, before she could finish the spell, Angelus leaped over to her and lashed out his hand, smacking her into the wall.

"Xander," Angelus singsonged as he made his way back to his lover. "Come on, baby. Two little pinpricks and then we'll be together forever."

The Hello Spikey in Xander's lap hissed an alert. The lead Hello Spikey shouted out, "Black Widow squad, engage Gothic Cuteness." A group of Hello Spikeys, each wearing a bow with a spiderweb pattern, stepped forward. As the webs in their bows started to glow, Angelus fell to the floor.

"That's your plan? Gothic Cuteness?" Willow shouted in dismay and disbelief.

"Morticia squad, engage." Their bows didn't glow so much as suck light out of the room. Angelus started screaming.

"Hey, it's not a bad plan," Spike said, rolling onto his back. "The Gothic part gets past Angelus' shields and the Cuteness is so adorable that it'll restore his soul permanently. No more bloody happiness clause."

Xander scratched the Hello Spikey behind her ears. "This one's by Johnny Cash. 'Well I won't back down, no I won't back down. You can stand me up at the gates of hell, But I won't back down...'"

Angelus stopped screaming and raised himself to one knee. "Everybody," the lead Hello Spikey shouted. As the rest of the Hello Spikeys, except the one in Xander's lap, joined the circle around him, Angelus fell back to the floor, covering his head with his arms. A couple of Hello Spikeys started high-fiving as Angelus' body shook. Spike gave Willow a confident smile. Willow allowed herself to breathe a sigh of relief.

Angelus leaped up from the floor, in full vamp-face, growling at the Hello Spikeys. Expressions of great resolve settled over their faces as each Hello Spikey shifted into a fighting stance. "Oh great," Willow shouted. "What do we do now?"

Spike tried to lift himself off of the floor. "Get Xander out of here," he shouted. "We'll," he nodded towards the Hello Spikeys, "keep him busy while you work on that spell to restore his soul."

"Spike! Do you know how long it'll take just to gather the supplies?"

"Better get on it, then," Spike said. "There's only one other option and that's too horrible to contemplate."

Willow, thinking the other option involved defeat, raced over to Xander. Angelus glanced at Spike, still on the floor, and turned away with a dismissive smirk. Willow had given up on trying to make Xander let the Hello Spikey go and was helping him up off the floor. As Angelus started striding towards them, a couple of Hello Spikeys threw themselves at his feet. Angelus stumbled and one of the Hello Spikeys let out a yowl of pain. Looking up, Willow pulled on Xander, "Come on. We need to get out of here."

Xander, being very careful with the Hello Spikey in his arms, raised himself up off the floor, even with Willow's help, very slowly. "Hey! I can stand," he said proudly.

A slow clapping came from the doorway. Turning, Willow saw Angelus blocking their exit. Spike was, for no obvious reason, dragging himself away from Angelus. With a smirk, Angelus leaped across the room and with three short sharp kicks to Spike's ribs, stopped him cold. Before Willow could blink, Angelus was blocking the door again.

Willow placed herself between Angelus and Xander.

"Now, you don't think you're going to stop me, do you Willow?" Angelus asked.

"Willow," Spike said. "The remote. Turn on the tv."

"The tv? Spike, I don't care if _Passions_ is on or not, now is not the time..."

Spike muttered, "Don't be stupid, it's our last defense against Angelus." Unfortunately his words were drowned out as the Hello Spikeys started chiming in.

"_Passions_?" One of the Hello Spikey's brought her little paws to her heart. "Ooooh, I love _Passions_." "Remember that time Timmy got stuck down the well?" "Silly, that was _Lassie_!" "_Lassie_'s on? I haven't seen that in decades."

Angelus looked between the bedstand, which held the remote, and Xander. "Nice try Spike," he said confidently.

A Hello Spikey, dressed as Frank-N-Furter in a pearl necklace, a leather vest that laced up the front, black-lace underwear, and a garter belt that held up fishnet stockings, jumped onto the bedstand and grabbed the remote. "I got it. I got it," she exclaimed, bouncing up and down. As the remote slipped out of her hands, she mournfully added, "I don't got it."

Angelus looked uncertain, glancing between the remote and Xander.

Another Hello Spikey, wearing something long and flowing, reminiscent of the Bride of Frankenstein's outfit, shouted, "I got it." When it hit her paws, she screamed in pain and the remote flew into the air again.

"How did she get her hair all poufed out like that?" Xander asked.

"Those little zig-zag stripes are adorable" Willow added. Xander nodded in agreement.

Angelus strode across the room for the remote.

"Focus people," Spike shouted.

"I got it. I got it," a Hello Spikey dressed as Abby from NCIS shouted. Looking down at the remote, she asked, "How do I turn it on?"

"The power button," the other Hello Spikeys shouted.

"Which one's that?" she asked as Angelus loomed over her. One of the Morticias hit the little orange button as Angelus dropped down next to them.

"Oh Goddess, what is that unholy thing?" Willow cried out as Xander fell to the floor and curled up in a fetal position.

On the tv, singing unicorns rode rainbows out of the sea.

Spike cringed. Angelus fell to the floor, screaming. When the screaming stopped, he raised his head. His face was human again. "Xan?" he cried out in a pitiful voice, sounding weary and weak. Xander peeked out, carefully not looking towards the tv, and started crawling, still carrying Hello Spikey, towards Angel.

"Will?" Spike asked.

"I'm checking," she replied. As Willow muttered Latin incantations, a golden sheen fell over Angel. "He's got his soul back," she shouted triumphantly. "And I think it's permanent."

"Yes." A bunch of the Hello Spikeys gave each other high-fives and jumped up and down, hugging each other. They started figuring out, between themselves, what must have happened. "_The Last Unicorn_ was so evil it got past his defenses," a Hello Spikey said, cringing, as she looked towards the tv. "But it's so cute that it restored his soul." "Well of course it did. What's cuter than rainbows and unicorns?" "Hurray."

Xander and Angel started kissing. As they stumbled across the room, Xander grabbed the remote and turned the tv off. Then they fell onto the bed. Willow, trying to keep her eyes averted, couldn't resist glancing over. Xander's tongue was licking one of Angel's nipples while his hand was wrapped around his lover's cock. Willow's face turned red. "Oh, I'm so out of here," she said as Xander started kissing his way down south.

Spike winced as he tried to get up. "Hey," he called after Willow. "You don't think I want to stay here with the two love birds getting it on, do you?"

A Hello Spikey, wearing a totally cute skull-patterned jumper, rubbed up against Spike, purring up a storm. "Great, I love you too, but I'd really like to get out of here now." Four more Hello Spikeys started purring and rubbing up against Spike. "Um, right," Spike said, trying again to raise himself off the floor. "I'll just get myself out of here then." He was pushed back down as a dozen Hello Spikeys landed on him. "Willow," he called out, his hand reaching out towards the door.

Willow's voice called out from the hallway. "One, I am not coming in there while Xander and Angel are, well, you know, and don't even try to tell me they've stopped mister because I can hear them which is so... Ewww! And two, you think I'm helping you after you drugged my best friend?"

"Mmph, mmph," Spike tried to reply. He was covered in Hello Spikeys, all but his hand which was still reaching out towards the door. As Xander took Angel's cock into his mouth, the last Hello Spikey, the one Xander had been petting earlier, tilted her head, scratched behind her ear, and then leaped across the room, joining the others on top of Spike.

Hello Spikey rubbed her cold nose against Spike's hand, ordering him to pet her. Purring, she rubbed her head against the hand. Spike's hand slumped down, as if in defeat. He started scratching Hello Spikey behind the ears.


End file.
